Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
