If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Randomize
