You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
