Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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