oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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