Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
well you can't waste a boner
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
