We won't sleep together?
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
Your topless pictures make me question reality
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize