okay pat passed out under dana's car
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
