i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
