Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
