Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
