Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
