i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
