He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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