Dual....:-)
Is it normal to miss your booty call?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
