when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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