I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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