one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
