i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
