i think i have herpe
just one?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
