did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Randomize
