My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
