You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
