dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
