He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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