And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
there's paper in my vomit.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
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