Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
