Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
