We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
