i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Randomize
