so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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