Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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