My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
