some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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