Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
