I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
