Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
