i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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