Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
