Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I'm just crazy horny about you
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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