You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Randomize
