thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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