I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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