I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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