We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
