Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
