I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
