Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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