I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize