i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
