Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
