So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
Randomize