The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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