just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
