she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Randomize
