No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Randomize
