you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
