So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i just google imaged poop.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
