Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
