I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
