i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
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