you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
